her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
