whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
