every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
