How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize