i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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