he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
