it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
