did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
