i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There r osticjed everywhere
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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