I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
