I am in a vortex of obligation.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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