You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
