I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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