yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
