dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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