How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
