Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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