So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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