I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
