She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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