i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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