We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
