Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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