He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
