i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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