No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
