so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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