We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
