The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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