One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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