...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
