i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
