He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
