life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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