Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
