Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
