I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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