i just wanna soil my oats bro
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
