i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We are two peas in an std pod
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
