bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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