summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
