I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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