My nipple is on Facebook.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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