The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
