Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
