And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize