Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
