I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
