I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
