At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
