I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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