I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think your dad took our porno
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
