You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
