Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Pooping to opera.
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