and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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