Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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