i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize