you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
